Perfectionism often looks like high achievement or strong work ethic on the outside, but internally it can feel exhausting, rigid, and never quite “enough.” Many individuals struggle with cycles of self-criticism, anxiety, and burnout, even while appearing capable and successful.

Therapy for perfectionism is not about lowering your standards or losing motivation. It’s about changing your relationship with yourself so your worth is no longer tied to achievement or performance. 

How Perfectionism Can Show Up

  

Perfectionism can take many forms and often goes unrecognized because it is socially reinforced or mistaken for ambition. Common patterns include:

 

• Chronic self-criticism or harsh inner dialogue

• Fear of failure, mistakes, or disappointing others

• Procrastination or avoidance to prevent “getting it wrong”

• Difficulty resting, slowing down, or feeling satisfied

• People-pleasing, over-responsibility, or codependent behaviors

• Anxiety, burnout, or emotional exhaustion

• Tying self-worth to achievement, productivity, or approval

For many, perfectionism develops as a coping strategy—often shaped by early experiences, relational dynamics, or trauma, where being “good enough” felt necessary for safety, acceptance, or connection.

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​Sometimes perfectionism goes beyond high standards and shows patterns seen in obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD). This can include persistent, intrusive thoughts about mistakes, repeated checking or revising, or rigidly following self-imposed rules. Therapy can help explore whether perfectionism is linked to OCD and provide strategies to reduce distress, challenge unhelpful thoughts, and build flexibility and self-compassion.

The Emotional Cost of Perfectionism

  

While perfectionism can temporarily create a sense of control or success, it often comes at a high emotional cost. Over time, it may contribute to anxiety, depression, relationship difficulties, and disconnection from joy or self-compassion.

Clients often describe feeling:

• Never good enough, even when succeeding

• Constantly “on,” with difficulty relaxing

• Afraid to be fully seen unless performing well